i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize