my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
