wanna go halves on a baby?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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