so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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