i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
