12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
