used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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