all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
