Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
