Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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