Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
