are you still at the devil's house?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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