im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
