I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
