I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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