you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
