I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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