There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
