Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
