Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
