That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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