You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
