I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
