My Higher Power is John Stamos
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
