Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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