In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
