Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We were destined to go to rehab together
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
