he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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