Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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