She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
