You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
