her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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