I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
