I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
