I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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