Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
