He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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