Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize