Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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