check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
