I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
