he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
