I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
