Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
