Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
