And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
