Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
