508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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