i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize