i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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