JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
