people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
