What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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