I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
