Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
are you so shy because you have an std?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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