ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
