What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
