Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
