i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
