Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
