I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
