Got a toothbrush?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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