Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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