At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
