worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
