Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
